We have attended many swing clubs where the women are obviously not wearing a bra. We have no problem with this, but do women wear no bras or panties because they are ready to play and want their partners to have "easy access" or do they do it as a "fashion statement?"
Mary & Tom
LifestyleVoice: Most swingers' main objective is to attract other swingers. With that in mind, some women may decide to go without a bra and or panties to a club or party. Do I think that not wearing these under garments is making some sort of statement? It depends on the individual and how they want to be perceived and received. Like any other situation I suggest that you play it by ear, let her approach you. Number one rule of thumb -- assume nothing. Women who choose not to wear undergarments may do it for any number of reasons. They may like the feeling of naughtiness that it gives them, they may like the feeling of freedom it gives them, they may like the feeling of easy access it gives them, or may be they simply are exhibitionists and love to show off. For whatever reason, it is a personal choice. Whether the lady is wearing undergarments or not you -- should never ever assume that she is going to do anything.
We met a couple and on our first experience with them they have whipped out bunch of toys when we got to their place. Is that normal for swinging couples to use toys between each other or is this couple a little over the top?
Sue & Steve
LifestyleVoice: I do not see anything wrong with some couples being a little more adventurous than others. The swinging lifestyle is recreational social sex between consenting adults. When you meet a couple that you find attractive, don't be shy, approach them and let them know that you are interested and start up a conversation. Get to know them a little -- tell them your rules and find out theirs. Ask them if there is anything in particular that they like or dislike. Excitement and anticipation can cause you to forget to ask or even think of some significant things about the opposite couple. Of course that all depends on what you consider significant too. Whether you are new to the lifestyle or a seasoned veteran, if you have specific boundaries, you should let the other couple know about them. If you feel uncomfortable at anytime you should speak up and let the other couple know immediately. If pulling out a bunch of toys or gadgets is something that is new to you or something you don't do -- just tell them. I am sure they will understand and you can all continue to play at a level that will be comfortable and agreeable to both parties. Bottom line -- communicate with each other and with any new couple that you meet.
We are considering attending a swing club where single men are allowed. How should we approach a single male if we are interested in playing as a threesome? Should my wife do it? Should I do it? Should we do it together?
Jerry
LifestyleVoice: I suggest that you discuss it with your wife/girlfriend before you make your final decision to attend a club that has single men present. Decide what approach makes the two of you the most comfortable -- having her approach him and have her seduce him into play with the two of you or you both approach him together. I would not recommend approaching him on your own -- always include your wife/girlfriend in getting together with a single guy. Single guys are well aware that some guys are over-protective of their wife/girlfriend based on the fact that most single guys count their blessings that they are allowed to the party and to have a chance to play with you.
