More often than not, when I'm in the mood to watch a flick, I'll rent porn over a mainstream movie. But I must admit, last time I browsed the adult section I picked up a documentary -- a documentary covering, or rather uncovering, the Lifestyle! I thought, wow cool! But then I was hesitant. Adult film quality is always a coin toss. And it's a documentary; it's not going to get me off. But I wanted to see how an outside perspective might lend itself to the mainstream.
So here's the scoop. The Lifestyle: Swinging in America offers some great insight, though superficial at times, for those considering responsible non-monogamy. The film introduces us to a dozen swingers, taking us into their homes, workplaces, parties, and conventions over the course of two years in order to provide a more objective overview. The film covers topics from the pros and cons of swinging, bisexuality, coming out, legal issues, religion, and communication -- just to name a few.
Beginning with a series of commentary, various couples in the Lifestyle delightfully bare their swinging experiences. Each couple represents a different background, age group, ethnicity, and US region. Covering the basics, they tell us why they swing, how they swing, and when they started. As far as whom they swing with, they show us that, too! So yeah, count on nudity and sex, though it may not be all that hot.
As I said, the film is perfect for newbies because it dispels many myths regarding swinging. I remember my newbie days; I worried about my body and my looks so much because I believed all swingers had these incredibly sexy, porn-star bodies. Wrong! Body types, age, ethnicity, social class vary as much as the people you see in the supermarket. And this documentary perfectly illustrates this fact. Some swingers don't care what you look like, as long as you like to "party".
Another thing that stuck out for me was the variation in attitudes across regions. For example, swingers in Orange County are more tolerant than, let's say, some southern swingers. (And for any of you from the south, I can attest to this personally. Feel free to send me your letters!) But to my point, a southern couple had expressed their distaste for male bisexuality -- that it just does not happen, and if someone in the group so much as hints at it, he will be asked to leave. Whereas, the couples from the West Coast aren't so concerned with sexual preferences as long as people enjoy themselves. They claim that swinging is just "sport-fucking". It's getting together with other people who enjoy recreational sex.
Then we get a look into the conventions -- which I found was best part of the film. At a regular convention, expect somewhere around 3000 couples to take over one hotel. These provide great opportunities to meet other couples, participate in sex workshops, and purchase some really cool toys and costumes. By the way, costumes are a big deal in the documentary. Dressing up isn't just for Halloween anymore!
Some swingers discussed how they conducted house parties. If you're considering attending one, you might want to watch this film first just so you'll know what to expect. And it isn't like all house parties are the same, but usually a tight-knit group of swingers attend. So plan on the BBQ, beer, and games as you would any other social event with a new group of people, except someone might ask you to have sex while someone else watches, or better yet, carries on a conversation beside you.
Throughout most of the film, the swinging couples vehemently advocate the Lifestyle. But then there are points when I am skeptical of the producers' true intentions. Do they really aim to promote or deter the Lifestyle? Toward the end, I think the producers have a bias against swingers. One couple followed over the period of two years decided to take a break. They claimed a lack of communication between them as the problem and were relieved to be out of the Lifestyle. The other couples, of course, are just as happy as ever. But then, there was a brief discussion on AIDS. One woman espoused a need for protection against STDs or STIs. Her segment was cut next to a man's comment about how AIDS isn't really an issue for swingers, because they are not part of the demographic. If that doesn't take one aback, I don't know what will.
Granted, it appears to present objective insight for curious or new swingers. And at the same time, another message appears to argue against swinging, however subtle. I personally think that most documentaries and their producers are biased. But don't let me make this decision for you; watch it for yourself.
