I had no idea that an organization like the NCSF existed. My wife has a problem at her work -- we went to a party and her co-worker was there as a single guy. She made the mistake of playing with him and now he's sexually harassing her. She wants to tell her boss but doesn't want our private evening activities to get out. Can the NCSF help us? Joe
LifestyleVoice: Seeing a co-worker or an acquaintance at a swingers club happens on occasion. Some people totally freak out and leave the establishment immediately. Some don't make it a huge deal of it at all and it doesn't affect them. Many people respect the boundaries of others and they may give the occasional glance, say hello and pretty much stay out of each other's way and enjoy their evening. But playing with a co-worker could be complicated. It all depends on their maturity and their ability to separate work from play. Obviously, playing with this guy was a big mistake. First of all, she needs to talk to him and let him know his comments or actions aren't appreciated and what happens at a club or party stays at the club or party. She needs to be firm and tell him that she has no interest in him now or in the future and feels she's being sexually harassed. If he doesn't stop immediately, she'll take action by reporting it to Management and possibly suing him. If that doesn't work and he continues then give NCSF a call so they can advise you of what to do.
I loved your article on Female masturbators. In fact I just got one myself. I was just wondering, when we go out to a club or party, would it be inappropriate for me to use my toy on another woman during girl-girl play?
Penny
LifestyleVoice: There is no problem with playing with another female with your toys, but there are necessary precautions that you should take. If you want to let someone borrow your sex toy, be sure to wash it thoroughly with soap and hot water, preferably anti-bacterial soap. If you don't have anti-bacterial soap, then soak it in bleach, rinse thoroughly and wash it with soap and hot water. On the other hand, if you are wanting to use a sex toy such as a vibrator simultaneously with a partner, you have to be more careful. The easiest way to protect yourself and your partner is to put a condom on the vibrator. Remove the condom and put on a new one each time, if you use it on multiple ladies. What you want to avoid is exchanging any type of body fluids -- as there is always the concern of sexually transmitted diseases. The fact that the exchange occurs via a sex toy is irrelevant. If you don't want to use a condom, then sarah wrap will work in a pinch, but you will have to wash the toys thoroughly after each use.
Your article on swinging and deceit was right on the mark. It was very realistic and I always suspected that there are quite a few guys who do that to their wives. One of my male friends is thinking about surprising his wife with a trip to swing club after I told him about the lifestyle. What should I tell him to do?
Tom
LifestyleVoice: Tell him to read the article for starters. Tell him that he could be making the biggest mistake of his life. Tell him that it's quite possible he might be the one that is surprised as he has no way of knowing how she is going to react without discussing it with her first. The lifestyle is about communication and trust. It is imperative that he and his wife talk about it thoroughly before taking that step. There are plenty of places to get information on the lifestyle -- on the Internet and in books stores. Taking her directly to a swing club or party without her knowing it and not being prepared could be exciting for her or it could really piss her off.
