Letters to Editor

Your article on anal toys was very informative and helpful. Is it possible to have an anal orgasm? I read somewhere that some women can. What do you think?

Suzy

LifestyleVoice: Men can achieve an orgasm through prostate stimulation -- however women do not have a prostate, therefore it is doubtful that could happen for them. As with the male orgasm, the female orgasm is strongly linked to her own genitals. Many women, although report that a more diffused sensation takes place all over their bodies when they have vagina and anal stimulation simultaneously. It is hard fact that most all female orgasms are achieved through clitoral stimulation. Some women can achieve orgasm just by stimulating other parts of their bodies like their breast or feet, or through kissing and yes even anal sex, but that mostly happens with the assistance of fingers on their clitoris.

I watched the Oprah Show about swinging and was intrigued to learn that people who swing tend not to get jealous. How is that possible? Is it an age thing, a maturity thing?

Lorie

LifestyleVoice: Open communication and trust are the most important characteristics between swinging couples. A lack of jealously and insecurity, combined with a friendly outgoing attitude, are the keys to a new and exciting lifestyle that will bring a couple pleasure and enjoyment. Swinging isn't about age or maturity, it's about trust and communication. Many couples have set rules to avoid or deter such issues -- some of those rules are:

• Always play as a couple: That means that they never separate from each other and are always in eyes site during sex. If either one of them decides to stop and take a break or leave the room, they do it together. Some couples even make it a rule to be within arms reach of each other.
• Agree on who to approach or who to play with: If one of them isn't attracted to a couple and the other is then they don't play with that couple. There is no if, ands or buts -- they just simply keep mingling until they find a "match." If they are really particular, they simply just play with each other.
• Have a code or a "look" they give to each other that means, "I need your attention or I need a break": This might be in a situation where everyone is naked and in the heat of the moment one of them may feel overwhelmed and want their partner to focus their attention on them. It also helps when it's time to freshen up or leave the room.
• Check on each other regularly: It so easy to get caught up in the moment -- in the fun and excitement. Swinging can be like going to Disney Land for the first time. Some couples normally like to check on each other every 15-20 minutes, if separated.
• Practice safe sex is practiced at all times.

Swinging is exciting, joyous, and a fantasy come-to-life experience that two people can share. If there is jealousy or envy, then you picked the wrong lifestyle.

My girlfriend and I are fairly new to swinging. The article about voyeurism stated that there are some clubs where you can go just to watch if you don't want to participate. Would it be acceptable for us to go to a club and only I play while she watches?

Harold

LifestyleVoice: That would be up to you two, but beware that many swingers look down on this practice -- especially if it's just the male who is playing. You may be looked upon as having brought a "Meal Ticket." This term refers to guys who use their wife, girlfriend, friend, or even a paid Escort to get you into couples only clubs or events for the sole purpose of getting sex for themselves. When you attend a club or a private party as a couple and only one of you plays (usually the male), you're sending that message. For the most part, swinging is a couples activity -- male and female should both participate. Believe it or not, swinging isn't equal opportunity -- females rule! If your wife wanted to play while you watched, that would probably be more acceptable.