It was only a few weeks ago when the Laci Peterson murder conviction story pre-empted ABC's 20/20 story on the swinging lifestyle.
For weeks we all sat in anticipation and excitement as to how 20/20 was going to present our beloved way of life. In the past, many programs aired about swingers were in a negative light - making us look dysfunctional or hiding in the shadows or just plain weird or like freaks and perverts.
The airing of the episode sparked numerous forums and lifestyle buzz throughout the swing world only for it to be short lived by the airing of the Peterson story. People were in the forums stating that they were removing their pictures and that this is "a black day for swinging!" due to the attention the 20/20 story would bring. Most of us were disappointed, but a few of us were happy it was cancelled.
So the 10 million or so people who watch 20/20 on a regular basis did not get to see it, but then along came Oprah. Fifteen to twenty million people tune in Monday through Friday, depending on her subject, to view the Oprah show. When it was announced that the subject would be about swinging - well you can bet she got her maximum audience that day.
Unlike a lot of talk show hosts, Oprah offered a clear, concise and objective look at the world of swinging without all the negativity that normally surrounds it. She was positive in her approach and she even invited two "everyday couples" to represent swinging as they saw it. One of the couples had Doctorate degrees in Accounting and looked like normal everyday people. At first they were interviewed in the dark with their identities hidden, but later they changed their minds later and said they wanted to let the world know who they are and that they are swingers.
Other shows like Ricky Lake or Jerry Springer would probably have guests on who are dysfunctional in one way or another. The only negative that I can recall about the entire segment was at the very beginning of the show. An unidentified "expert" said, "Swinging destroys relationships and marriages because it causes jealousy and envy to come out." We all know that this is simply not true or at the very least not that simple. Other then that, I feel that the show presented swinging in a very positive way.
The opening segment of the show was about "women who cheat." It was an inside look at married women across America who have or are presently cheating on their husbands. Oprah had a guest on who stated that her entire world came apart because of her extra marital affair. It all came to a screeching halt when her lover purposely sent flowers to her home when he knew she wasn't going to be there. The woman's husband got the flowers instead and the shock of finding out that his wife was having an affair for over a year.
According to researchers, 15% of all married women cheat and the number is getting higher every year as women assimilate into work force. More and more women are cheating because their husbands are either having affairs themselves, or they have stopped paying attention to them or the fire in the marriage has is simply gone. One guest said she cheated because her husband was just so arrogant and thought she would never leave him for anyone else. As he got more into his work, she felt more unappreciated felt there was nothing left of the relationship as he became more and more distant. Then she met a man who showered her with love and affection - well needless to say, she jumped on it - no pun intended. The entire affair was a secret until her lover sent the flowers with the hopes that it would force her to reveal the relationship to her husband - both her marriage and the affair ended as a result.
Swingers in general look down on those who cheat on their spouses and would rather not be associated with anyone who does. Commitment is very important in the lifestyle. Sex with other couples is always done with the spouses knowing exactly what's going on at all times. Swinging is an excellent alternative to cheating, in that it's done together, it's fun and it can spark new fire into your relationship.
It won't be long before mainstream will finally accept swinging as an acceptable form of recreation for couples. Oprah said it at the end of the show, "Marriage in America is changing." Thank goodness!
