You talked about how hotel parties are for veterans only and newbies should be very cautious when attending. We want to try one anyway, so how should we behave?
Sue & Joe
LifestyleVoice: Yes, hotel parties are "generally" for veteran swingers. But if you want to attend as a newbie there are a few things you can do to make the experience a good one for you. First, you might think about attending with another couple that has been in the lifestyle for a while -- a veteran. Second, once you are there don't be afraid to let people know that you are new to the lifestyle -- they will understand as they were in your shoes once. Third, if you feel uncomfortable and are not ready to play you should politely excuse yourselves -- but don't just sneak out the door -- let your host know that you are leaving. If you don't you will be considered a flake and you probably won't get invited back again.
I read your article on the Prime Time Special -- "Sex in America." Why do you think the show never introduced swinging as the alternative to cheating?
Teri and Tom
LifestyleVoice: Well, believe it or not, America still isn't "ready" to accept the lifestyle, let alone accept it as an alternative to cheating. After five years of being in the lifestyle it still amazes me that "swinging" is so taboo. The Prime Time Special danced around "swinging" -- they never even said the word, but they did talk about how many people have done a "3some." So why they didn't take it one step further is beyond me. My guess is that so many people still think the lifestyle is full of freaks and perverts. If they only knew just how many mainstream Americans are swingers -- they would probably croak! So it is our goal to open the eyes and minds of people to what swinging is really all about, to show them that we are just "everyday" people and to "spread the news" so swinging can be accurately assessed and to find out if it does save marriages -- after all 75% end due to cheating.
In the article about Anne's PleasHER Party you've described a party unlike any we have ever heard of, but one that we would certainly love to attend. Is it a private house party that you're talking about or is it a club? If it is a private party, what makes it different from a club?
Ruth & Chris
LifestyleVoice: Anne's PleasHER Party is not a club -- it is a private party. What is the difference? A club is a business -- usually a facility that is "open" to anyone who wants to attend, meaning that all that is generally required is that you make a phone call, you give your name, you get an address, you are told what time the party starts, how much it costs, and you just show up. Most clubs have a dance floor, you bring your own libation -- they provide mixes, you are required to bring a lock to lock up your belonging up in a locker in room and most clubs charge an annual "membership" fee. Anne's PleasHER Party is different in that it is a private house party -- not a business -- and you have to request to attend -- but it's more involved than just simply making a phone call. Four years ago when Anne started hosting parties, she created a screening process for all first-time attendees. To reserve your "wet spot" you must first visit her web site, which will tell you all about her parties -- it is very detailed and easy to navigate, but more important it is very informative. If you like what you see and read and you decide that you want to attend you have to fill out and email her a completed questionnaire/application, which is followed by a personal (interview) call from Anne. On the phone she goes over the entire form with you, she discusses her "house rules" a few of which are that all her guests are required to shower before they play, that condoms are to be used at all times, and that no "sneak attacks" are allowed. She also asks the "hard" questions like, "Are you HIV and STD Free?" and "When were you last tested?" She spends time talking to you to get a feel for you, to get a feel for your personality -- she wants to know what you are looking for and what you expect, but most important she wants to make sure that her parties are right for you. Oh, yeah, she always talks to the female first. Anne feels that her process gives her parties a very special personal touch that you don't always from a club.
